Scared "Straight"

I live in a constant state of fear, sad but true. It's true because my fears are based on real things and sad because I am such a pussy that they would frighten me to begin with.

Let's take movies for example. I am not one of those people who get terrified by those bloody slasher flicks where maniacs are running rampant hacking people to death. I live in Texas and have been to the border, this simply doesn't phase me.

What does scare me in a movie is the unknown. Something horrific you could never imagine happening turning out to be true. After viewing the "Blair Witch Project" I was too scared to venture outside the theater, let alone in or around the woods. I can no longer be around corn fields thanks to the movie "Signs". I freak out at the blinking of a light compliments of "Paranormal Activity" and I too see dead people since watching "The Sixth Sense". On a side note I am also terrified of Zooey Deschanel's acting since being exposed to the movie "The Happening".

In a revelation of fear I am somewhat embarrassed about, I have to admit I get very nervous and in fact sometimes fearful about being around those with Downs Syndrome. I know, I know, I do feel ashamed admitting this and it is not because I feel these individuals are beneath me or anything like that. I think what I am scared of is again the unknown. I don't know what they are going to do and how am I supposed to respond when they do it.
Is it rude to continue asking them to repeat something if you are not understanding what they are saying? To break the ice I would wonder if my mentioning how much I like the character Corky from "Life Goes On" would be appropriate. What if they spontaneously want to hug me? And not that I am considering this but what if I fall in love with someone who has Downs Syndrome? Is it wrong? These are just questions that run through my mind. The truth of the matter is no one is knocking down my door to wine and dine me at the moment, let alone an individual with Downs Syndrome.

I also have a total fear of sports. I don't enjoy playing them, watching them or even talking about them. Bring up the newest line of candles from Bath and Body Works and you can't shut me up. Sports on the other hand, they scare the hell out of me.
The few occasions I have played sports have always ended badly. When I played junior baseball I never knew what to do. In a huddle when we were asked if anyone had any questions or suggestions the other boys rambled on about positions and tactics and I would ask when our new uniforms would be coming in or question the likability of our mascot. I am not making this up! I had no earthly idea what I was doing on that field and I certainly had no right being there. The coach had placed me in the outfield where I am guessing the bad players are sent. There was not much action in that position, thank God. I would spend my time in the outfield ignoring the game and picking bouquets of wild flowers for my mom.

I fear for my health, even when there is no reason to. My Friend Nicole is constantly reprimanding me for overreacting to my ever widening array of imagined skin disorders. Once, on our way to lunch, I noticed a small red mark on my upper leg. Visions of skin cancer and flesh eating viruses soon began dancing in my head and I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I instantly made Nicole aware of the situation at hand and was quickly scolded and told there was nothing to be scared of. "Nothing to be scared of"? Was she not looking at what I was looking at? I was turning into the elephant man before her very eyes and she blows it off like it is nothing. Like some distraught toddler I began to pout and point to my leg to further the legitimacy of my claim until we were forced to pull over to purchase a tube of antibiotic cream for what turned out to be a small scratch that went away in about two hours.

What is my number one fear in life? I would have to say animals. I am just about terrified of every single one of God's creatures big and small. I absolutely have what is called alektorophobia, which is the fear of chickens. This fear is to an extent that I can't even watch them on television. It begins when I think of the little cones on their heads, then their pointy beaks and moves on to the disgusting alien like objects they have as claws. I am restricted from venturing to petting zoos or county fairs. I prefer my chicken battered and fried in an original recipe of secret herbs and spices compliments of the colonel.

Reptiles also don't do me any favors. I am terrified of snakes. I look back now and I figure my fear is a result of being punished terrorizing my mother with rubber snakes as a child. My mom is also a big snake scaredy and would react to even the word being mentioned as though she had just witnessed a mass slaying.
My brother and I would take it upon ourselves to sneak into the bathroom when she was showering and throw a rubber snake over the shower curtain and run. The result would be my mom locking herself into the bathroom and scream/cry for about 30 minutes afterwards. We would sometimes end up getting spanked if she hadn't cooled off by the time my dad got home from work.

The animal that sends the most shivers up my spine? Pit Bulls. You can say all you want about how they are bred to be killers by horrible people and that it's not really in their true nature. Whistle that all day long, I'm not buying it. These animals just scare the bejeezus out of me. A birthday party for a friend was being held at one of his relatives house. The man owned a pit bull that would freely make his way back and forth across the living area. I sat on the couch frozen in fear talking myself down from an imaginary ledge the entire length of the party. "Don't let it know you're scared Kyle, They smell fear" I silently told myself. "Oh Holy baby Jesus it saw you looking at it and that can be confrontational YOU IDIOT".

My friend Pam houses two very large dogs, one of which is a Pit Bull. These dogs are CONSTANTLY up to no good, destroying items in Pam's house, nearly killing other relatives cherished pets and generally causing havoc and chaos.
Pam recently reported waking to a strange smell inside her home. These dogs had managed to actually turn the knobs on the stove to the on position releasing gas inside of the house as Pam peacefully slept. I am all for having pets but when they attempt homicide it is time to take action. I now warn Pam to watch her back with those dogs. My fear is that one day she will be roused out of her sleep with duct tape over her mouth, one dog binding her hands and the the other holding a knife to her throat.